supernova

Heal
means watch the tide enclose the
shores, surrounded by a ghost, means
wade the water deep and sow
the soul, watch it sink then
bathe the glow
Heal
means wear the sun as wedding veils and
kiss the fabric scent, means
swing the branches, dive the mountain
allow the brine to sleep still upon your flesh

Stare the sky so hard you bruise the
blue expanse, make a fist so tight you
snap the nervous bone

Supernova of the heart
collapse, explode.
A scattered million
still lightning
frozen as a bulb yet
flicker the stammering stars

Push it down deep
until it explodes the gut
And I, the lonely physician
have done many a surgery
on my own insides
collected the shrapnel from
inner cavities, soothed the
splayed flesh sliced like a
fish waiting to be burned then
consumed, devoured by
beasts bitter and violent,
restless against the
timid sounds of infants

And I, the weak child
am dissected, laid as a
sacrifice on Abram's altar
tied with ropes and yelling
yet silent in the cause

must i be filled with holes
that drip, drip, drip
toxic sap, like
rancid honey-- some
parts sweet, some
parts deadly

¡$ © å r1ø†

judas, judas
jagged at the teeth

goddamn the sharp touch, feels like
razors at the skin, skate through
flesh until they split the
filthy fissure
wet with vile blood

judas, judas
jaded in the heart

i withered where you walked
vertigo of mind against the
weary-weighed sitting--idle legs
snapped at the knee

judas, judas
jaundice of the skin

queasy even as i closed my eyes
vinegar body trembling a fever
devastate the whites of eyes
rolling as a river with
splintered vision

i am the plague
i am a bad day
i am rain and bitter news
i am the scorching sun and
unwelcome winter
i am 4am insomnia
the sensation of choking
cat scratch fever and
vomiting
i am worrisome behavior
a gunshot
smoke alarm trigger
i am noisy patron
intruder at the door
tongue-tied with
bones crumpled and crushed in the throat
i am a stutter
slip on the gravel
abrasion of the knee just
deep enough to wince when the water hits
i am unwanted pregnancy
screaming child with a tantrum
104˚ fever
glass shattered on the floor
i am a broken a/c
half-working headphone
tall man's hat in the front seat at the theater
i am god i am death
i am foreboding presence and
irritation, disgust

i am nobody's home and
alone.

crucifix

I am wrung on bitter wood
Outstretched to die like a coward
Velvet with the liquids of the body
I am rotten with the wound

String the cuts like cable
Holding your arms for their shame
Naked as the nail, it
grows alongside the bone
in the marrow even as a child

Lonely spread as cancer
As tobacco as smoke as poison
smeared as venom jam
Slow-spreading slow death
As if I am dying in slow motion
Decaying as soon as I exited the womb
As if I slid from between my mother's legs
straight into a casket

I am a grave
My body a black hole