1:15am, a wish & a vision & a prayer

I wish I would get hit in the head with a
baseball bat, lie in my own pool of blood and
push my fingers into the crater wound - feel
all the gore like brains and mashed up flesh -
But somehow I'm strangely lucid and
staring at the red staining my fingertips.
I sit up and emerge from the cavern of the
body, hollow as a cave and cracked as an
empty shell. I float upwards and above and
fall, land on my feet with a thud and kick the
dust and stones. And suddenly, the me on the
ground is only bones and the ribs an arch and
hearse. And I see the sockets of my skull
and they are bursting with weeds of all colors,
small and ugly but resilient against the decay.
I begin to walk and the dirt crunches under my
shoes. I am in a barren land, pale dusted path
with quilted patches of faded grass, like the
old earth coughed and the best it could do
was a field half alive with no bloom. But the
soil sounds full and stretched as skin and I still
hear it breathe if only in the saddest sighs. I
also see trees that are teary and worn, lifting
up the most tired of hands to the light that
burns them, basking the midday until parched
and broken in the wasted places.

Gentle god, let me
die and live in between, a
ghost in the land set to wander
for no one's looking for me